Saturday, April 9, 2016

Better than that

Hello Everyone,

Todo bien todo bien! ME interesa que habla en tú, es muy raro aquí. casi nadie habla en tú, casi solo en mexico. Eso dicho, realmente me gusta hablar en tú, y vos, vos es tuanis.

I didn't even know it was Easter. We have the Holy week here, which is pretty much a different holiday. Holidays here are an excuse to go to the beach, hence we didn't have very many lessons. Speaking of lessons, I remember that someone asked me how much we usually have, and I totaled them up the other day, we usually have thirty to the high forties, but it depends.

This week has been beautifully hectic, in that we have been cementing plans for six baptisms this past weekend (one from the sisters, five from us). My part in the baptisms was...teaching them, and baptizing them ;) But honestly it´s all a bit of a miracle. Ironically, the week in which I had the most success is the week in which I really realized how hopeless things would be by myself. Instead of feeling like I´m awesome and strong and wise and what not, I feel on the contrary, rather small, insignificant, and ignorant. And even more contrary to that, I´m grateful. Because the truth is, I ain't all that and a bag of chips, but I know someone who is. I don´t care what you say, I know myself, and I know what happened this week, and you would be wrong to attribute any of it to me. Things really hit home Sunday when I was sitting in the chapel, thinking. Listening to the talks in Sacrament meeting. I´m grateful for someone who makes up for what I´m not, and does good things through me, almost despite of me. I often find myself confused amidst the barrage of my changing life, and more specifically changing heart, and although there is oh so much I don´t understand, and although I feel constantly assailed because it feels like I´m built of one mistake after the other, and the second I do something good, I make another mistake that helps me feel sufficiently like dirt again, although all of that is true, I find my core strength, which is that I just want to be good. A good person, a good missionary, a good companion. Scratch that, I´m sick of good. I want to be better than that. And I´m done being satisfied with barely passing the bar. How often in our lives do we fall short of greatness, not for lack of ability or talent or even probability, but because of fear, laziness, disbelief? Because of past events, or a hard life, or because the odds seem to be stacked against us? I think that´s why I like the idea of baptism. That of having past wrongs being erased, and starting anew. What a blessing. Sorry. I kinda threw up some ideas there. I just hate mediocrity, especially when it´s in my own life. Mediocrity is so over rated. But greatness requires discipline, that whole "mind over matter" deal. And that can be tough. But to conclude my earlier thought, of what I was thinking while sitting in the chapel, I realized that although today I wasn't the best, I have tomorrow. I want to encourage you to break out of one of your molds tomorrow. Try greatness out, see how you like it. But if I may throw in a bit of what I personally believe (I am a missionary after all) I think you´ll accomplish said greatness a lot easier with the man upstairs. In fact it´s guaranteed. I´m more of who I want to be because of Him.

Anyways, back to the baptisms. Sorry about the mindless babble. it probably doesn't make any sense. If not, ignore it :) The couple, Keior and Yolanda, are amazing.

We had no doubts that they would show up the day of. (Although transportation was an issue, seeing as they didn't have money to take the bus, Keilor was ready to ride his bike to the chapel, a trip of 2 hours or more, but luckily that wasn't necessary.)

But the children were more of a worry. Their father, who is a bit of an unsavory character, that lives far away and normally has no part in their life, was initially opposed to the baptism, although he didn't know us, and had no desire to know us. So we were pretty sure that the baptisms weren't going to happen. But the day of, we saw one of the kids, and he said, I told my mom that I´m gonna get baptized, what time are you coming to our house to pick us up to get baptized? Alright then. So we talked with their mother, and she said that seeing as all of her children really wanted to get baptized, she would allow it. And that although she couldn't come, she would come the next Sunday, and bring friends. Things work out.

Okeedokee this letter is impressively long, I´m such a wind bag.

Love you all,


Elder Noah M. Toney

Kissin the ol plac. proud to be missionaries.

No comments:

Post a Comment