La Familia

Howdy Everyone!

Costa Rica is pretty darn hot right now, not much rain, this is the hottest part of the year here, thank goodness that I´m not in Guanacaste now, that place is really HOT. Melt your shoes hot. We do have a lot of new missionaries! Which I rather enjoy because they always have a lot of faith. We went to the temple as a normal trip, it happens every once in a while.  Although I live in the zone where the temple is, we don´t get to go very often.

Some stories. You might recall that we baptized a family about a month ago, Isidro and Lorena. Isidro works as a truck driver. Recently he has had to work a lot. 18 hours, sometimes more. Obviously that is not healthy. The other day we visited them, we had a spiritual lesson, and he prayed at the end. But while he was praying, he began to sob. And I felt it. This family that I love so much was in deep pain. Him especially. It felt like my heart was being rooted out. We are so close to the people and see everything that happens to them.  Often we feel what they feel. I stayed on my knees for a moment, only feeling. I wanted to cry for him. It is a feeling of powerlessness, to know that you cannot step in and make everything better. But that makes the Message all the more important. I know that this is true, and I know that it helps. I know that there is a path prepared for him so that he may be happy.

Not long ago, we had an experience with a new elder that wanted to go home.  He barely got here and he was already throwing in the towel. Personally, it was tough. They are my family here, I feel what they feel, and when one of my missionaries is hurting, I hurt, although they may not know it. And this companionship was hurting a lot. (Funny experience, when the opportunity was starting, my companion and I decided to talk with them.  It was decided that I would talk with the trainer, and my companion with the greenie. The first thing that this elder asks me is, "Am I in trouble?" Whaaaaaaa who asks me that haha, like I´m your teacher when he calls you out in the hall.) One day while my companion and I were praying to know what to do, I had an impression. I was taught that what I had been perceiving as a huge problem was in reality a humongous opportunity.  It was a complete change of perspective. I saw and was shown that these two elder had distinctive needs, and that the Lord was able to meet both at the same time by putting them together. It was a divinely orchestrated opportunity, not a problem. Furthermore, four birds were killed with one stone when my companion and I were thrown into the mix. Because we also have distinctive needs, but The Lord met all of them in one go, with one situation. Now that is good planning, that is efficiency. I do not believe in problems, I believe in opportunities.

Things have become really crazy and the past five weeks have passed by so quick it makes my head spin. This last week we went to a mountain as a zone. I got REALLY burned though. Then we had a zone conference, this is where my companion and I teach 14 missionaries, and this time, President showed up, which is always rather nerve wracking. It went well, although I felt it was AWFUL.  Many missionaries said that they liked it, so I guess it turned out alright. I suppose that I still haven´t reconciled the Noah Toney of before my mission with the Elder Toney that gets up in front of a lot of people and speaks. Or that gets up on a chair, waves a flag back in forth and recites, "“The standard of truth has been erected; No unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing; persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the great Jehovah shall say the work is done.” Joseph Smith. To get a room full of missionaries excited to work. Or that goes to meetings with Stake Presidents and Bishops. Or that (supposedly) leads. Who lives with faith instead of fear (or at least is working on it.) Yes, one changes a lot in the mission, if he allows it. I still make a bunch of mistakes in just about everything, and I get chewed out just about every day (for good reason). But I've learned to laugh at the errors (some of them at least) and then try and not do it again.

The thing that has most helped me, are my missionaries. Years ago in a dark seminary classroom, at six in the morning, a seminary teacher started something that has become a standard in my mission. We called ourselves "La Familia. " Since the start, when I was called as a leader, I was inspired to do the same with my small groups. At the beginning, it was something I believed, but not something I lived. As I have progressed in the mission, the Lord has helped me live up to what I have been saying. To me, my zone is my family. Everything we do, we do for the family, and for the Lord. Unity is everything. Although that is how I feel, It is a LOT harder getting everyone else to believe and live it as well, and it´s teaching me not to be so selfish haha, because when I am selfish, I am not helping The Family be a family. Hence the hard work. But little by little we learn, we progress.

(Funny side note, we have a thing we do here, when my companion or I say, "who are we?" The Family yells, "Familia Belén!" I just realized that that translates to, Bethlehem Family. You gotta love Spanish!)

Being a leader in the mission is interesting. It helps me grow in ways I never thought possible. It stretches me and pushes me, it knocks me down, and throws me off. But with every day and every opportunity I´m learning to be happy. Opportunities are blessings. Life is a blessing. I just know it. Things will work out.

Undauntingly,

Elder Noah M. Toney

La Familiala

On March 20, Noah wrote - "My new companion! We had transfers."

The joys of leadership

I am sorry for being so bad at writing! There really is no excuse, so I will do better.

We had transfers! I am staying in Flores, and I am receiving Elder Castro. He is from el Salvador. He's got about two weeks more in the mission than I. He hasn't been a zone leader so I´m his zone leader dad. They added an area to our zone, so now we are 16, and I have been feeling the craziness and inefficiencies this past week. We had to go find a new house because they opened a new area. Add to the list of my new identities--Elder Toney the house negotiator.  It was AWFUL and so very stressful, I do not have the knack for that. But we did it. And then one of my district leaders was getting an operation done so one of us had to stay with him, so I basically had no time to be with my companion or teach him anything.  When the assistants called asking for things he didn't know what to do, they chopped his head off (figuratively now) and then they called me and chopped my head off (not so figurative).  I´m already used to it, but my poor companion felt really bad. But moving forward! I apologized because it was pretty much my fault (preparing for marriage: everything is my fault) [also for those who don´t know, leadership in the mission: President scolds assistants, assistants scold zone leaders, zone leaders scold district leaders, and district leaders scold the regular missionaries, all things roll downhill].

The good news: lots of really fun lessons in humility. The bad? Lots of head chopping,(from momma J for not writing very much) and learning. But honestly, it´s a lot of fun having so many missionaries, it means that there´s a lot to do. I´m excited to be with my companion because he seems ready to learn.  I am as well, so it should be an adventure. I really enjoy being Zone Leader because it REALLY forces me to grow. Like in planning and execution of plans, for example, how do I get eight missionaries and about 14 big suitcases to different locations in a couple of hours when only I know where things are at and we can only travel by bus? Lots of hard work and making split second decisions when things change fast, while withstanding dirty looks from the bus driver for bringing so many suitcases and getting charged for extra weight. Once again sorry for not writing, As a zone leader, a lot of things cut in on my time.  Last week I was unable to write, but as the Assistant who just called me said, "Elder Toney you are the Elder I have most scolded this week, Elder usted es el elder que más he regañado esta semana". Yes I know, but it doesn't get me down at all and I just keep trying to do better! And Sorry!

Love you all!

Succinctly,

Elder Noah Michael Toney

Valentines Day Activity

Isidro y lorena!

No time!

Hello All,

Forgive me! As a Zone Leader I have to input a lot of numbers, but today I didn´t have any extra time, and I have got to write a long letter to president. Today there are eight new missionaries in the zone, and I have got to take them all to their new areas, and they opened a new area, so my family here just got bigger. I also have to show them their area, there were two other whitewashes in the zone. I have a new companion, he's salvadoreño (He is from El Salvador), se llama elder Castro (his name is Elder Castro). My companion just finished his mission. Next week I will hopefully have more time. I love you all!

Elder Toney

Plan of Salvation by Elder Waite

The biggest miracle

Hello Everyone!

Sorry I haven't written.  I was scolded today by Jacqueline--so here I go:

There are a few things that have been going on in my life right now. I am in the midst of the biggest miracle I have ever seen. One day we were walking past an open door, because I´m ever curious, I turned to look inside, in the seconds long glimpse I caught I saw a man and his wife talking, the wife said hi in response to my greeting, and we continued on. A few paces later, I am not quite sure why, I turned back and started a conversation. They quickly let us in (rather uncommon) Thus commenced a journey. In the first few minutes after the prayer the man began to cry. He told us that not long before we arrived, he had had a vision that two people came to his door to talk to him about Jesus Christ, and that he decided that he would join the first church that came to his door, like in the vision.

That was us.

We went back a couple days later. The lesson was powerful. He shared with us that in all his years of living in that house he had never let any come in, and that they always had the door shut because he doesn't like visitors. And that ever since that first prayer he had had peace that he hasn't had for years, and he feels much less stress. After the closing prayer he said that he felt like the eunuch that was traveling with Paul, who wanted to be baptized the fastest that he could. Since then he has not missed a Sunday. That was about three weeks ago.

There is more to the story, but it would take a long time to write so someday I´ll put it on all paper.

I Sadly just received notice that one of my missionaries has got to return home for health problems, that´s the second time it has happened in my time as a Zone Leader. It´s mighty sad to see one of your family go home early.

Lately I have been seeing many tender mercies of the Lord. Every time that I am in a lesson and the Spirit is strong and I feel its´guidance, I leave feeling humbled. I know that I don´t deserve to be present in such things, and that it certainly isn´t for my talent or skill that things went well. Often I feel the slight desire to cry, because I know that the Lord is working, and all that I want is to not impede it. It´s a strange feeling, hard to describe. I love these people, and fight to be better so that I might better serve them.

Love you all!

Remittedly,

Elder Noah M. Toney

Dumbledore and Personal Progress

Snapple!  Hello Everyone,

Where to start. How does one express with words that which is born of the heart? I rather like how J.K Rowley expresses it in Harry Potter, where Dumbledore just takes them pesky thoughts right out of his head and puts them in a bowl. Now that is nifty, why don't we invent that instead of the iPhone 18abcd? Anyways.

Today we went to la monte de la cruz as a zone. It was a good activity, we passed time together, got to know each other. I sure do love my zone.  Being with them is always a bright spot. We have been practicing for a theater hour for the mission Christmas party. (theater is NOT my strong suit, in fact I hate it) and the subject is a returned missionary at Christmas time. It´s pretty...eh something. I think it'll go over well. Missionary returns home to find ex boyfriend married to her sister and the sister pregnant, strange and desperate ex missionaries proposing right after the bat, stuff like that. I am NOT divulging which role I was assigned. Who can guess? It should be good because we have three missionaries who are going home real soon.

As to my personal progress...I don´t even know. But in a good way. I am learning a lot. About who I am, what I want. In these moments I do not suppose I´ll be able to quite express what´s on my mind. I have hope, I have peace. It's not easy, not by a long shot. I feel as though life is just getting harder and the responsibility more numerous.  But rather than be depressed, I learn and change without so much kick and fuss. I depend more upon those I can depend, and keep an eye upon those I can´t. I´m learning to build upon a foundation that is sure. I´m good and sure, but not in myself. I am far below what I could and possibly should be, but as the ticos say, I´m in the fight.

Yup.

Averringly,

Elder Noah M. Toney

My Zone!

Teaching with Pres

Hello Everyone,

I had a fun experience yesterday: One of my missionaries has kidney stones. Had, actually, because Saturday they operated on him and luckily he didn't have to go home. It was a relatively small surgery and actually they didn't cut him open at all....suffice it to say that I am NEVER going another day without drinking tons of water. *shudder* Anyways, I was on splits with him so that his companion, who is a new missionary, didn't have to be cooped up in the house. We went to a ward baptism because we had to be in the chapel anyway for the Christmas devotional. And president shows up!  Sometimes I miss being far away from the mission home, because when you live more than five hours away from headquarters, no one ever shows up unannounced.  Actually, no one shows up ever!  After the service, while the participants were getting dried and dressed, my mission president leans over and says, "You should be taking advantage of this time to teach the Plan of Salvation (which basically teaches Gods recipe for our happiness).  You got lucky because Elder Brassanini (Señor kidney stones) can´t do very much."  For those that don't know my president, he seems very stern.  When he says things, it kind of makes you wet yourself a little, especially since I have rarely talked with president.  Since I´m a "leader" and should know these things, I pipe up and say, "Hey president, you wanna teach with me then?" In the moment before I said that I thought, "snapple, what do I do?" and "by golly have I got an idea" So we taught, and it was a lot of fun. I think it went over well with him, but I couldn't tell if he was angry or pleased based on his face. It was hard to tell.

Out of time. I love you all.

Irrepresably,

Elder Noah M. Toney

We went to the temple to see one of my converts and an old friend

We loved them

Howdy Howdy,

I am not entirely sure that I have informed all of you where I currently am working.  My home is now in Flores de Heredia. It would be a grave understatement to say that it has been an eventful week. My new companion and I are doing really well. We get along super well, it seems like we are always laughing, I swear, I have never laughed so hard so often in all of my mission. He has been in Costa Rica awhile, so he has a lot of experience.  That means I get to learn a lot. We are both new at what we are doing, but our plan is to be as close and united as possible so that we can unite our zone. The area is really nice--the members make us dinner every single day it is so strange.   I have not eaten so much in all of my mission. The ward is so organized and the members all help us out!! It´s a lot different here than in my other areas, so I´m changing my strategy a bit.

I think it can be said that at this point in the journey we can recognize that Elder Toney has the tendency of writing one good email for every four or five negligent emails. Sorry!

These past two weeks have been the happiest of my mission. I feel...good. Starting out here in Flowers,  (I just love the literality of Spanish, and yes I do believe I just invented a word) I realized that I was feeling rather strange, and I couldn't quite identify the source. In analyzing the why, I found out something huge and rather personal. I felt a lack of self resentment. I believe that I am finally able to forgive myself for my mistakes. I know that it is probably hard to understand for someone who isn't me, but I have felt an intense resentment towards myself for so many years, based on my weaknesses. The absence of that poison brings me so much peace, and for the first time in years, years, and years, I feel hope. Real hope. I honestly believe now that maybe I´ll be okay, that I´ll turn out all right, that I am not forever destined to be a bad person who hurts those around him. I forgive myself for being human, and I love my Savior for helping me overcome that.

Being a Zone Leader is exhilarating, and absolutely exhausting. When we came here as Zone Leaders, things were pretty bad. The zone was the lowest in the mission. The missionaries weren't united. But this past week we all pulled together and worked like our lives depended on it. This past week was the week of miracles (previously known as the week of sacrifice) My companion and I worked like crazy to plan things, because the past zone leaders hadn't planned anything. We set some really high goals, with the prize being a trip to the temple, (which is unheard of here). Although we didn't meet the numerical goal, the real prize was seeing the light in the missionaries' eyes. We served them, we got to know them, we loved them. One thing we did every morning before we left to work was to gather in one of the chapels. My companion and I taught them, encouraged them, then we played games together for a short while. Then during lunch, we all ate together. This is something we can only do during this week. And to be truthful, our little zone was leading the mission in various categories. Our goal is to have this zone be a family, as it says in Matthew 12:48-50.

As a zone leader, we convey A LOT of information. That is basically our role, moving it all along. We talk with the district leaders and help them grow. We talk a lot more with our mission president.  Funny story--last Saturday he showed up at our apartment! THANK GOODNESS he didn't know where we live, because he had to call first to get directions. We cleaned so dang fast!

Things are going well, the zone is getting better. My companion is awesome. I love you all!

Intrinsically,

Elder Noah M. Toney

We hade a half pund of meat and a bunch of fries IT HURT SO BAD BUT WE DID IT.

The mother of one of the missionaries in my past district

Thanksgiving